Most women today are looking for partners in a much less effective way than they would look for a toaster on Google or Amazon. At least when you look for a toaster you might type in some things you really want in a toaster:
“Toaster, 4 slice, silver, auto shut off and crumb tray.”
But most women’s current approach for finding a life partner is much less discerning than the approach to find a toaster. Honestly, when you go to a bar or club, or open a swiping-mate-finder app, you are pretty much typing:
“Random person, breathing, likes to drink, or at least go to bars or clubs, looks good, would ask me to dance or buy me a drink”
If that describes your ideal mate, then you can quite reading now, and go put on your best “pickup” outfit.
I am serious! Girl, you can do Sooooooo much better than that. Here is a question for you:
Do you even know, really know exactly what you are looking for in your ideal partner?
In an impromptu survey I did last year at 2 bars I visited with a friend of mine, I surveyed 20 women. The results were, sad, but not surprising:
- 3 of 20 felt they had an advantage over other women, because of their looks, age, or ability to tie a knot in a cherry stem with their tongue (what?)
- 5 of 20 had made a list, at some point in their lives, of traits they would like in a partner
- 8 of 20 had actually recently worked on themselves and their lives in an effort to become a better partner (plastic surgery didn’t count).
- 10 of 20 had some type of plan for weeding out the incompatible from the potentials
- 15 of 20 were already pretty hammered and still hoping to meet the special person that night
- 16 of 20 honestly felt like they were not going to find the PERFECT partner, because they were too heavy, too old, too shy, too pushy, not pretty enough, not sexy enough, not blonde enough (what?) or had too high of expectations.
- 17 of 20 were still angry at, or carrying baggage from a previous relationship
- 18 of 20 were there primarily because they were lonely, and would be willing to settle for a “OK for now” partner
- 20 of 20 were self-conscious, lonely, frustrated, desperate or a combination of these.
- 0 of 20 actually felt in control of the “search”
- 0 of 20 had any type of plan to attract her ideal partner, outside of hanging at bars, clubs, events, etc.
These broke my heart. 20 women out there looking for love, and were at the mercy of, well, random events! If they don’t know what they want, how will they find it, or how do they know where to look, or even if it looked them in the eye and bought them a drink!
So get specific, no, get Crystal Clear about what you want, and know what it looks like so you can recognize it, and it’s opposite!
So don’t be like so many other women out there – your ideal partner is waiting out there for you to get clear about what you want, so he can come sweep you up onto his white horse! Don’t make him wait any longer!