4 of the biggest steps to attract the love of your life!

You have heard them all,

“Like attracts Like,” “Attract more fies with honey than vinegar,”

“You attract what you ARE, not what you want,”

“If you want great, be great!”

You must be that which you desire. There’s no point in an unloving person going on about their inability to find a partner. They’re doomed to endless frustration because they don’t recognize the perfect match when it appears. That loving person could be right there, right now, but it is too foreign to them, too different from themselves, even if it is exactly what they want. The unloving person continues to blame bad luck or a series of external factors for their not having a loving relationship.


How To Attract Love To Your Life

Love can only be attracted by and returned by love. The best advice I can give for attracting and maintaining loving, heart-connected relationships, is to be what it is that you want to attract. Most relationships that fail are based on one or both of the partners feeling as if their freedom has been compromised in some way. Heart-connected partnerships, on the other hand, are never about making another person feel inferior or ignored in any way. The term heart connected simply means that the energy holding the two of you together is in close harmony with the your true heart-felt desires.


Deliberately Attract the Loving Partner You Want

If you are not clear about what you want, how will you know if it walked up to you and said hello?  Here are a few things you should include as you begin to get clear about your ideal partner:

  • Be clear about what you want, and become that.
  • Be deliberate in how you create this vision.
  • Don’t simply look at surface characteristics, but include how you want them to behave, even when the chips are down.
    • How does your heart feel when you are with them.
    • How does the touch of their hand make you feel?
    • When you touch them, how does it make them feel, how does it make you feel together?
  • Be clear, and understand how it will feel in your body and heart when you have it.


Affirm That Love is On Its Way

Understand that as you change, and become more connected to what you want, you will begin to see change in your life.  People with behave differently, opportunities will become available, ideas and inspiration will come clearly to you, all these things are proof that you are on the right path to what you want.  When you have come down the path to where you partner is waiting for you, you will know them.


Love Yourself First

If you do not love yourself, you will not know what to expect (even demand) from others you want to love you.  If you do not know the feeling of love from your Source, you will not be familiar with the way unconditional love feels, and may tend to settle for
“conditional love” or possessive love, instead.  If a friendship or partnership requires submission of your personality, your inner nature and dignity, it’s simply wrong. When you truly know what it is to love, as you’re loved by your Source, you won’t experience the kind of pain you did in the past when your love was unnoticed or rejected. You’re connected to this Source of love at all times. Know this. Think this way, feel this way, and you’ll soon act this way. And all that you think, feel, and do will be reciprocated in exactly the same fashion. Believe it or not, this principle of the right person showing up has been in place forever. It’s only your ego that’s kept you from seeing it clearly.


These four steps are key when you are looking to find a healthy, loving, heart-connected love.  Because a relationship that is based in love, real love, can be nothing other than heat-connected and healthy.  I teach these steps in details to my Attract Healthy Love Formula program clients, and when that light bulb goes off, and they understand how to make that happen – Look out – it is life changing!

5 quick tips to start Attracting your ideal Partner

Image result for gossiping at the water coolerYou innocently ask, as you approach the water-cooler, How are you?orWhat’s going on?or even, “Hey, what’s happening?”  These questions are probably the major contributing factors for why some people can’t find that perfect partner!  Well, OK, maybe not THE major factor, but it certainly is a rabbit hole we get sucked down, and then find ourselves in deep dark partner-repelling waters.

We all do it.  We go through our lives, every day, talking to people, using common language, empathizing with each other, bemoaning what is troubling us, or listening while others lament over their troubles.

The problem isn’t in the asking, “how are you,” it is when someone (maybe you, or maybe someone else) responds with a sad, lamentation about their woes and struggles.  And then there we go, down the rabbit hole, and Bam! When you engage in a conversation about how something is going badly, or how someone can’t catch a break, or someone was wronged, or how they caught the latest political crisis on TV last night, or the latest chapter of their terrible relationship, you find yourself discussing, agreeing, arguing, disagreeing, debating, or maybe even going along with, or harmonizing and reflecting back the negativity along with that person.

I am sure you still do not see the problem.

Simply stated, according to Universal laws, you get what you talk about, think about, and get emotional about – NOT what you WANT.  So there you are, mini-skirt-deep in an emotional discussion about things you don’t like about this, or how this frustrates you, or makes you angry.  And Bam!  Right then, you are hard at work attracting more of just that!  And if you spend a good deal of time lamenting over past relationships, friend’s rocky relationships, how lonely you are or your frustration over the losers you keep dating, you are, with each breath, summoning to you more people, events and situations that bring you more things and people to be frustrated with, or to lament over.  That, my dear, is the problem.

I am going to give you 5 quick tips that you should start recognizing right now, to get yourself out of the “water-cooler-negativity-rabbit hole” and onto the path of “Ideal Partner Avenue!”

Tip #1 – Don’t spend time discussing things, topics, issues, people, or events that are not in alignment with the person you want to be or attract.  Here is an example – If you want to attract a partner who is understanding, kind, witty, forgiving, and intelligent, you need to demonstrate those qualities as well. Getting into a heated debate over who is right or wrong in a situation, is not being  “understanding” or “kind.”  Regurgitating old arguments, reopening old wounds, or injuries is not pulling you into alignment with being forgiving, or witty.  Now, I understand that we have to have conversations where we disagree with others, the point is, try to make them brief, and then end on an upbeat note, or when you walk away, think about something else that makes you feel happier.  Don’t wallow in negative thoughts or plans.

Tip #2 – Recognize the people that bring you down, and walk the other way, or make your encounter short.  You know who they are, the constant complainer, the angry person, the one who is sure everyone is out to get them.  This is toxic to your quest.  Do what you need to, but get out or away as quickly as possible.

Tip #3 – Have a quick pick-me-up-thought ready at all times.  The most powerful thing you can do to get started on your path to finding your perfect partner, is to spend as much time during your day in “high vibrational energy.”  This means that being happy has a higher vibrational energy than being sad, or mad.  Being hopeful has higher energy than being frustrated.  And even though sad is a lower energy, it is higher than angry, and so that is at least a step up.  So, I have a couple good ways to do this.  First, what I do – I have a photo of my little dog on my phone’s lock screen.  This photo makes me smile, no matter what mood I am in.  It immediately lifts my energy.  Whatever that could be for you, whether it is your child, grandchild, dog, bestie, etc., as long as it makes you smile, no matter what is going on.  Another thing you can do, is call someone who is SUPER positive.  Someone that will not get down and wallow in the mud with you, as you tell them about your bad day, meeting, date, dream, idea, etc.  These people are invaluable in your life and you should have a few, if not more… If you don’t have ANY, you need to work on that right away.

Tip #4 – Don’t talk about bad relationships – Talk about something else.  If you talk about your bad experiences, or even someone else’s, you keep escalating what isn’t working. Stop justifying your complaints because it keeps you from moving forward. If you continue to remember and talk about your bad relationships you keep attracting that around you. Talk about something else. This is how to attract the relationship of your dreams – by focusing only on what you are wanting. Observe and speak only about happy relationships. It doesn’t matter if you are talking about your own experiences or if you chose to focus on what isn’t working in other people’s relationships. You won’t attract a wonderful, witty, intelligent partner who is ready for a wonderful relationship as long as you focus on bad relationships.

Tip #5 – Focus on things in your life that are working.  The next step in understanding how to attract your perfect partner, is to enjoy your life as it is today, and appreciate your existing relationships. Look for things to appreciate right here and now!  When you think about things in your life that are working today, you put yourself in a different vibrational frequency. You put yourself in an allowing position, so good things can come to you. By focusing on what’s working right now, you stop the resistance and start allowing.  Stop complaining.

So, starting today, if you are serious about attracting your ideal partner, start implementing these 5 tips.  You will see a change in your own energy, you may find that you are meeting new people, or getting new opportunities.  These are also signs that you are on the right path.  Keep it up, that perfect partner is out there, waiting for you to get into alignment with them, so they can come and sweep you off your feet! Don’t make them wait any longer!

Attracting your Ideal Partner – What is Your Google Search for the Ideal Partner?

(I can’t believe there is really a picture under the definition of “man”– Ha!)

Most women today are looking for partners in a much less effective way than they would look for a toaster on Google or Amazon.  At least when you look for a toaster you might type in some things you really want in a toaster:

“Toaster, 4 slice, silver, auto shut off and crumb tray.”

But most women’s current approach for finding a life partner is much less discerning than the approach to find a toaster. Honestly, when you go to a bar or club, or open a swiping-mate-finder app, you are pretty much typing:

“Random person, breathing, likes to drink, or at least go to bars or clubs, looks good, would ask me to dance or buy me a drink” 

If that describes your ideal mate, then you can quite reading now, and go put on your best “pickup” outfit.

I am serious!  Girl, you can do Sooooooo much better than that.  Here is a question for you:

Do you even know, really know exactly what you are looking for in your ideal partner? 

In an impromptu survey I did last year at 2 bars I visited with a friend of mine, I surveyed 20 women.  The results were, sad, but not surprising:

  • 3 of 20 felt they had an advantage over other women, because of their looks, age, or ability to tie a knot in a cherry stem with their tongue (what?)
  • 5 of 20 had made a list, at some point in their lives, of traits they would like in a partner
  • 8 of 20 had actually recently worked on themselves and their lives in an effort to become a better partner (plastic surgery didn’t count).
  • 10 of 20 had some type of plan for weeding out the incompatible from the potentials
  • 15 of 20 were already pretty hammered and still hoping to meet the special person that night
  • 16 of 20 honestly felt like they were not going to find the PERFECT partner, because they were too heavy, too old, too shy, too pushy, not pretty enough, not sexy enough, not blonde enough (what?) or had too high of expectations.
  • 17 of 20 were still angry at, or carrying baggage from a previous relationship
  • 18 of 20 were there primarily because they were lonely, and would be willing to settle for a “OK for now” partner
  • 20 of 20 were self-conscious, lonely, frustrated, desperate or a combination of these.
  • 0 of 20 actually felt in control of the “search”
  • 0 of 20 had any type of plan to attract her ideal partner, outside of hanging at bars, clubs, events, etc.

These broke my heart.  20 women out there looking for love, and were at the mercy of, well, random events!  If they don’t know what they want, how will they find it, or how do they know where to look, or even if it looked them in the eye and bought them a drink!

So get specific, no, get Crystal Clear about what you want, and know what it looks like so you can recognize it, and it’s opposite!

So don’t be like so many other women out there – your ideal partner is waiting out there for you to get clear about what you want, so he can come sweep you up onto his white horse!  Don’t make him wait any longer!